Name: Van der Ent Group
Brand: Van der Ent Group
SKU: Van der Ent Group
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You prepare a return move from Spain to the Netherlands by starting early with honest conversations, actively involving children in the move, and giving them space to say goodbye in their own way. The younger the child, the more structure helps; the older they are, the greater the need for input and acknowledgment of what they are leaving behind. Below we answer the most frequently asked questions from parents who are moving internationally to the Netherlands.

How do children experience a return move emotionally?

Children experience a return move as a combination of loss and uncertainty, even if they have moved before. They grieve for friends, their familiar environment, the language they spoke at school, and the daily routines that made Spain feel normal to them. At the same time, they may also feel curious or even relieved, depending on the circumstances.

What parents sometimes underestimate is that a return move does not automatically feel like “coming home” for children. For a child who has lived in Spain for years, Spain is home. The Netherlands can feel like a foreign country, even if they speak the language. That feeling of detachment is normal and usually fades after a few months, provided sufficient attention is paid to it.

Common emotional reactions include sadness, anger, withdrawn behavior, or conversely excessive cheerfulness as a defense mechanism. None of these reactions are wrong. It is important that parents name and validate them, rather than saying that everything will be fine.

At what age do children feel a move the most?

Children between the ages of 8 and 14 tend to feel an international move most intensely. At that age, friendships are deep and meaningful, social acceptance plays a major role, and children have already built a strong sense of identity around their environment. A move at this stage of life affects them on multiple levels simultaneously.

Toddlers and young children adapt relatively quickly, as long as their primary attachment figures — that is, the parents — are stable and present. They do not yet miss the social context in the same way as older children.

Teenagers aged 15 and older face a different challenge: they fully understand the situation, but have the least control over the decision. This can lead to resistance or frustration. With them, it is all the more important to be open about the reasons for the move and, where possible, to give them a say — for example, in the choice of a school or the decoration of their room.

How do you tell children that you are moving back to the Netherlands?

Tell them as soon as the decision is final, give an honest and simple explanation, and then give children time to react without immediately trying to fix that reaction. Choose a calm moment, without time pressure, and make sure both parents are present if possible.

Use concrete language appropriate to the child’s age. Don’t say “we might be going back,” but “we are moving back to the Netherlands, and this is what it means for you.” Clarity reduces anxiety, even when the news is difficult.

After the conversation, leave room for follow-up questions. Children do not process news all at once. They will return in the coming days and weeks with new questions, sometimes at unexpected moments. Be available and honest then, even if you don’t know the answer.

Share the news in a timely manner, so children can get used to the idea
Be honest about the reason, at a level appropriate to their age
Name what will stay the same, such as the family, pets, and familiar belongings
Let children ask questions and take them seriously
Involve them in small choices to give them a sense of control

What helps children say goodbye to Spain?

Children say goodbye better when they are actively involved in it and it doesn’t just happen to them. Give them the chance to consciously decide what they want to remember, who they want to see before leaving, and what they want to take with them as a memento of Spain.

Concrete rituals help enormously. Think of a farewell party with classmates, a final visit to a favorite place, or putting together a photo book of life in Spain. These kinds of moments give the farewell a form and prevent the move from feeling like something that just happened.

Also make sure that friendships don’t end abruptly. Explain that staying in touch via video calls and messages can simply continue. For younger children, it is nice if they can give a letter or drawing to a friend. For older children, having a plan for staying in contact is already enough to make the step feel less daunting.

Also literally bring something from Spain. A familiar piece of furniture, a painting from the wall, or a favorite blanket in the new room provides continuity and makes the transition smoother. With a move from Spain to the Netherlands, we ensure that those personal belongings are transported safely and carefully.

How do you help children settle in quickly at a new school in the Netherlands?

Children settle in more quickly at a new school when they are well prepared, receive extra attention and closeness from parents during the first weeks, and find connection with peers as quickly as possible. A warm welcome from the school is crucial in this regard.

Before the start, contact the school and ask whether a buddy or companion can be arranged for the first few days. Many Dutch primary schools and secondary schools offer this. It removes a barrier for children who are not yet familiar with the social codes of a new class.

Children returning from Spain may also experience language differences, especially if they attended Spanish-language education. Some schools offer transition classes or additional language support. Inquire about this in good time, so the child does not fall behind.

At home, it helps to calmly discuss the school day without pushing. Don’t just ask “how was it?”, but ask more specific questions: “Who did you have lunch with?” or “What did you think of the teacher?” This gives children something to hold on to and makes it easier to share experiences.

When is professional help useful for children after a return move?

Professional help is useful when a child still shows clear signs of persistent sadness, anxiety, sleep problems, school refusal, or social isolation after two to three months. A move may require a period of adjustment, but should not cause prolonged disruption.

Signals that warrant attention include: no longer wanting to eat, nightmares, regression to behavior typical of a younger age, or statements indicating hopelessness. These are not signs of weakness, but of a child who needs more support than the family alone can provide.

In the Netherlands, there are various routes for help. The general practitioner is a logical first point of contact and can refer to a child psychologist or youth care institution. At school, the internal supervisor or school psychologist can also play a role in early identification and support.

It is not a sign of failure if a child needs professional help after an international move. Moving ranks among the most stressful life events, even for children. Seeking help in a timely manner is in fact a sign of good parenting.

Would you like to know how we at Van der Ent Group support families with full move coordination, from Spain to the Netherlands or worldwide? Our move coordinators are happy to think along with you, including about the human side of the move.

Veelgestelde vragen

Hoe lang duurt het gemiddeld voordat kinderen volledig gewend zijn na een terugverhuizing naar Nederland?

De meeste kinderen hebben drie tot zes maanden nodig om zich redelijk thuis te voelen in hun nieuwe omgeving. Factoren die dit beïnvloeden zijn de leeftijd van het kind, hoe lang ze in Spanje hebben gewoond, en hoe snel ze aansluiting vinden op school en in de buurt. Verwacht geen rechte lijn: goede weken worden afgewisseld met moeilijkere momenten, en dat is volkomen normaal.

Wat zijn veelgemaakte fouten van ouders tijdens een internationale terugverhuizing met kinderen?

Een veelgemaakte fout is de verhuizing te positief framen om kinderen te beschermen, waardoor hun verdriet of weerstand niet serieus wordt genomen. Ouders vergeten soms ook dat zij zelf emotioneel belast zijn, wat onbedoeld invloed heeft op hoe ze reageren op hun kinderen. Geef jezelf als ouder ook de ruimte om de verhuizing te verwerken, want een stabiele ouder is de beste steun voor een kind in transitie.

Moet ik mijn kind inschrijven bij een reguliere Nederlandse school of zijn er internationale alternatieven?

Als uw gezin definitief terugkeert naar Nederland, is een reguliere Nederlandse school voor de meeste kinderen de beste keuze voor sociale integratie op de lange termijn. Heeft uw kind uitsluitend Spaanstalig of Engelstalig onderwijs gevolgd, dan kan een internationale school of een tweetalige school een goede tussenstap zijn. Bespreek dit tijdig met de gemeente en de school zelf, zodat eventuele taalondersteuning of schakelklassen op tijd geregeld zijn.

Hoe houd ik de band van mijn kind met Spanje levend na de verhuizing?

Moedig actief contact aan met vrienden in Spanje via videobellen, berichten of zelfs het uitwisselen van brieven of pakketjes. Integreer kleine Spaanse elementen in het dagelijks leven, zoals Spaanse gerechten koken, Spaanse muziek draaien of Spaanse films kijken. Dit helpt kinderen te begrijpen dat Spanje een blijvend onderdeel van hun identiteit mag zijn, ook nu ze in Nederland wonen.

Wat kan ik doen als mijn kind categorisch weigert mee te verhuizen of extreem boos reageert?

Extreme weerstand is bij oudere kinderen en tieners een begrijpelijke reactie op een beslissing waar ze geen controle over hebben. Geef de boosheid ruimte zonder de beslissing ter discussie te stellen, en zoek naar concrete manieren om hen wél inspraak te geven, zoals de keuze van een school, de inrichting van hun kamer of de datum van een afscheidsfeestje. Als de weerstand aanhoudt en gepaard gaat met ernstig gedrag, is het verstandig om al vóór de verhuizing een gesprek met een kinderpsycholoog te overwegen.

Hoe bereid ik mijn kind voor op culturele verschillen tussen Spanje en Nederland?

Kinderen die opgegroeid zijn in Spanje kunnen verrast zijn door culturele verschillen zoals de directere communicatiestijl in Nederland, andere schoolroutines of het ontbreken van de vertrouwde buitencultuur. Praat hier vooraf concreet over en maak er een ontdekkingstocht van in plaats van een probleem. Het helpt ook om samen met uw kind positieve aspecten van Nederland te verkennen, zoals activiteiten, plekken of tradities die aansluiten bij hun interesses.

Kan de verhuisplanning zelf bijdragen aan minder stress voor kinderen?

Absoluut. Een goed georganiseerde verhuizing, waarbij het gezin niet wordt overvallen door last-minute stress, geeft ouders meer emotionele ruimte voor hun kinderen. Schakel tijdig een professionele verhuiscoördinator in die de logistieke kant volledig overneemt, zodat u als ouder beschikbaar bent voor de menselijke kant van de overgang. Hoe rustiger de aanloop, hoe meer kinderen het gevoel hebben dat de situatie onder controle is.

How to prepare children for a move back from Spain?