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How do you deal with homesickness after emigrating?

Christiaan van der Ent ·

Homesickness after emigration is a normal response to major life changes and affects almost everyone who moves abroad. You can reduce it by creating new routines, staying in touch with home, building a local network, and embracing your new environment. Professional help is important when homesickness affects your daily functioning. Good preparation for your emigration and move helps prevent homesickness.

What exactly is homesickness and why do you get it after emigrating?

Homesickness is an emotional response to the loss of familiar environments, people, and habits. It arises when your brain tries to cope with major changes and the loss of social connections. After emigrating, you experience this because everything that felt familiar has suddenly disappeared.

The phenomenon takes different forms. Acute homesickness occurs immediately after arrival and feels like an intense urge to go back. Chronic homesickness develops more slowly and lingers longer. Some people also experience anticipatory homesickness, even before they actually leave.

Psychologically speaking, homesickness activates the same brain regions as physical pain. Your body responds to the loss of social connections as if it were a threat to your survival. This explains why homesickness can feel so intense and why it causes normal physical reactions, such as fatigue and difficulty concentrating.

What factors make homesickness after emigration worse?

Cultural differences intensify homesickness because you constantly have to adapt to new norms and values. The greater the difference between your home country and your new country, the more intense the homesickness becomes. Language barriers make this even worse because communication becomes more difficult and you feel isolated.

Social isolation is an important trigger. Without local friends or colleagues, you miss the daily social interactions that felt normal back home. Seasonal changes can intensify homesickness, especially during holidays or important moments you would normally share with family.

The physical distance from family and friends makes spontaneous visits impossible. Video calls help, but they don’t fully replace real contact. Practical challenges, such as dealing with administrative matters, finding a doctor, or understanding local customs, add stress that worsens homesickness.

How long does homesickness normally last after emigrating?

Homesickness typically lasts 3 to 6 months in its most intense form, followed by a gradual decrease during the first year. The adjustment period progresses in phases: the honeymoon phase, in which everything is new and exciting, followed by the culture shock phase, in which homesickness peaks, and finally the adjustment phase, in which you settle in.

Various factors influence the duration. Younger people often adapt more quickly because they are more flexible and find it easier to make new social connections. Your personality also plays a role: adventurous, social types generally experience shorter periods of homesickness than people who are attached to routine and stability.

The circumstances of your move make a big difference. A planned emigration for work or study often causes less prolonged homesickness than a forced move. It also helps if your partner or family moves with you, because you then retain at least some familiar relationships in your new environment.

What practical strategies help with homesickness?

Creating new routines helps your brain get used to your new environment. Start with small daily habits, such as a regular walking route or a local café you visit frequently. This provides structure and familiarity in your new life.

Stay in touch with home, but set boundaries. Schedule fixed times for video calls rather than being constantly available. This prevents you from emotionally clinging to your old life while trying to build a new one.

Actively build a social network by participating in local activities, clubs, or courses. Work-related social activities are often a good starting point. Also seek contact with other expats who have had similar experiences; they understand what you are going through.

Embrace your new culture by learning local traditions and staying open to new experiences. Try local food, learn the language, and explore your new surroundings. The more you invest in your new life, the sooner it will start to feel familiar.

When does homesickness become a problem and should you seek help?

Homesickness becomes problematic when it affects your daily functioning for more than 6 months. Signs include: insomnia, loss of appetite, social withdrawal, difficulty concentrating at work or school, and completely avoiding local activities.

Seek professional help when homesickness turns into depression. Symptoms include: persistent low mood, feelings of hopelessness, loss of interest in activities you normally enjoy, and thoughts of returning as the only solution to your problems.

Therapeutic support is available through local mental health services, expat counselors who understand your situation, or online therapy in your native language. Many countries have special support groups for new immigrants where you can share experiences with people in similar situations.

How do you ensure a smooth start in your new country?

Good preparation prevents many homesickness problems. Arrange practical matters, such as bank accounts, health insurance, and registrations, before you leave. The less stress you have about administrative matters, the more energy you have for social adjustment.

A professional move within Europe or worldwide move ensures that your belongings arrive safely. This provides peace of mind because you have familiar items in your new home. Relocation services can also help with arranging practical matters in your new country.

Inform yourself in advance about the local culture, customs, and practical matters, such as public transport and shop opening hours. Learn basic phrases in the local language, even if you already speak it reasonably well. This shows respect and makes daily interactions easier.

If you are taking a car with you, make sure your car import is properly arranged. Having your own means of transport gives you the freedom to explore your new surroundings and helps in building a social life.

Homesickness after emigration is a normal phase that you can overcome with the right approach and support. At Van der Ent Group, we understand that emigrating is about more than just moving your belongings. With our more than 100 years of experience and relocation services, we ensure that your move goes as smoothly as possible, so that you can focus on building your new life.

Veelgestelde vragen

Hoe kan ik heimwee voorkomen voordat ik ga emigreren?

Begin al maanden voor je vertrek met het opbouwen van een netwerk in je nieuwe land via sociale media, expat-groepen of professionele netwerken. Leer de taal intensiever dan je denkt nodig te hebben en informeer je grondig over lokale gewoonten. Plan ook je eerste weken: zoek alvast uit waar je boodschappen kunt doen, hoe het openbaar vervoer werkt en welke activiteiten er zijn om mensen te ontmoeten.

Wat moet ik doen als mijn partner of kinderen veel zwaarder lijden onder heimwee dan ik?

Erken hun gevoelens en forceer geen positiviteit. Geef ieder gezinslid de ruimte om in hun eigen tempo aan te passen. Voor kinderen helpt het om vertrouwde spullen en routines te behouden, en zoek snel contact met andere expat-families. Voor partners: moedig aan om eigen interesses en sociale contacten op te bouwen, niet alleen via jouw werk of netwerk.

Is het normaal om na een jaar nog steeds momenten van intense heimwee te hebben?

Ja, dit is volkomen normaal. Heimwee komt vaak in golven, vooral rond belangrijke data zoals verjaardagen, feestdagen of seizoenswisselingen. Deze ‘heimwee-aanvallen’ worden meestal korter en minder frequent naarmate je langer in je nieuwe land woont. Zolang ze je dagelijks leven niet lamleggen, is dit een natuurlijk onderdeel van het aanpassingsproces.

Hoe ga ik om met schuldgevoelens omdat ik familie en vrienden achterlaat?

Schuldgevoelens zijn een veelvoorkomend onderdeel van heimwee. Besef dat emigreren een persoonlijke keuze is voor jouw geluk en toekomst, niet een verraad aan anderen. Communiceer open met je dierbaren over je gevoelens en maak concrete plannen voor bezoeken. Veel mensen ontdekken dat hun relaties juist sterker worden wanneer beide partijen de keuze respecteren.

Welke concrete stappen kan ik nemen als ik merk dat ik me steeds meer isoleer?

Zet jezelf tot één sociale activiteit per week, ook als je er geen zin in hebt. Start klein: ga naar een lokale supermarkt in plaats van online bestellen, neem de bus in plaats van de auto, of bezoek een café in plaats van thuis koffie te drinken. Meld je aan voor een cursus, sportclub of vrijwilligerswerk. Dwing jezelf om minimaal één gesprek per dag te voeren met iemand anders dan familie thuis.

Hoe onderscheid ik normale heimwee van een depressie die professionele hulp nodig heeft?

Normale heimwee heeft pieken en dalen, en je kunt nog steeds genieten van bepaalde aspecten van je nieuwe leven. Zoek hulp als je meer dan twee weken achter elkaar geen plezier meer beleeft aan dingen die je normaal leuk vindt, als je slaappatroon ernstig verstoord is, of als je alleen nog maar denkt aan terugkeren naar huis als oplossing. Vertrouw op je gevoel: als heimwee je leven overneemt, is het tijd voor professionele ondersteuning.

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